Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Many young black men are not happy about their situation in the new South Africa. In fact, the general feeling is that it seems as if in the new South Africa men (in particular black men) are either women or child abusers. But men also experience abuse, which is non-physical in nature in most cases, from their female counterparts. Therefore why gender activists or champions of women emancipation are turning a blind eye to men abuse? In my view genuine women empowerment should also seek to correct women imperfections.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
hello Bruce, your comment pricked my interest instantly because I have often argued that the fault does not entirely lie with the men. I believe that because black south African women do not expect anything from the men, the men are not obliged to strive to be better. Women are so self-sufficient that the men feel redundant. In my culture, the men are in a position of authority. It might just be a perception in some cases, but because they are also brought up to be protective of their women-folk, it instills responsibility in them at an early age. Do black South African men actually have such feelings of protectiveness and responsibility towards their women-folk? I am shocked when I hear instances of men raping their mothers. It is an abomination in any culture I think. what are the reasons for these acts of violence?
Thanks BRUCE for raising that out. But, I think this problem has a lot to do with the fast- changing society that is South Africa today. There is so much happening in the country at the moment that has direct bearing on the different parts of Society. For an example, in the past 12 years there has been tremendous changes in the socio- political and economical fronts in the country . Studies done had shown that this has had a rippling effects in the family life of most South Africans. Freedom has come with its own positives and negatives. Now we have very successful women who are forever climbing the corporate ladder and providing for their families exactly like men used to do. What does that do to the traditional male chauvinist?How does an able- bodied man feel when he cannot better his lot because he has fallen within the cracks of an economic system that often does not need his skills. Obviously, He vents his anger , his fustrations on the vulnerable and the weak in society. What i cannot understand is why this frustrations and anger at the world, should always manifest itself through sexual violence. I know i might not have answered your question, but these are my general concerns regarding this issue. I would have liked if you could have been more upfront in meaning with your statement..."genuine womwn empowerment should also seek to correct women imperfections".
I agree that all should be treated with respect, but it seems to me that the balance is largely dipping against women. I mean the abuse, violence and threat that women face are enormous. One should not use misplaced sentiments of seeking equality to excuse in-action or retrogression. Lets face it: patriarchy is real and men benefit from it to the detriment of women.
Themba, your more detailed look at some of the issues that challenge black South African males does give me a better picture of the situation. However,it seems to me that you are inferring that in the present South African context women are being more 'empowered' than men. Is this a fair assessment? I believe that women work hard to make use of the opportunities that have been made available to everyone. It would appear that women are making the greater effort perhaps to take advantage of the opportunities that are available, also considering that they are left with a huge chunk of the responsibilities in marriages and 'partnerships/relationships'. Why then do their male counterparts turn on them and act out their fear, frustrations and inadequacies through terrible and mostly fatal acts of violence? I agree with Thomas, men are allowed to get away with so much due to the so-called 'traditional' African society and cultures. What is your take on this Themba? Bruce? Everyone?
April 21, 2007 12:25 PM
Dear Bruce, your blog deals with some really interesting issues. You talk about the portrayal of men as child abusers and rapists in the context of South Africa.
I see that people have responded to you in various ways. I believe that this is indeed a hot issue in many countries, not just in South Africa.
In America, for example, there have been registered many cases of child abuse, contiounuous rape of women etc. To an extent, this has to do with the nature of men. Men are more powerful and stronger and it is more liklely to hear about a man raping a woman than vice versa.
However, today societies have moved away from the patriarchical order of society, which claimed that men are dominant in the family and in the society.
In fact, women today are more free to take their decisions and live their lives independently from men. And as a result, they feel more free to talk about their bad experiences with men in a more opened and a free way. However, I do not find anything wrong with that!
As we talk about openness in terms of race, colour and ethnicity, we should also be opened to the idea of gender equality. And yet again, this is needed especially in the context of South Africa!
Women abuse is real, I’m not denying it. Some time this week I listened to a discussion about men abuse on KayaFm. I found it interesting. A representative from the Men Forum related many stories about men abuse. But the highlight of the discussion for me was that some scholars (seemingly one male and the other female) from the US wrote a book entitled, Men Abuse the Untold Story, about this phenomenon called men abuse. It came out from the show that some women in South Africa (the president of Men Forum mentioned) are aware that the law takes women abuse seriously than before so they use it for revenge. Some are using their financial muscles to threaten their partners who are either unemployed or blue collar workers. This will only serve to drive us further apart if it is left unattended. From my observations it is for this reason that we find a lot of educated black women who struggle to find partners. I’ve heard some saying men are scared of independent women. Generally women marry ‘up’ and men marry ‘down’. Personally, I would like to have an educated woman, because when you educate a woman you educate a nation. This means to me if one have children with an educated woman chances are high that my children may like education.
I am still not entirely convinced that so much attention should be given to the issue. Ja, if a woman abuses a man, emotionally, physically, etc. this is bad and one has to intervene. But I mean the sheer scale of abuse by men is, I think, uncomparable. It is true that in macho society you also find the women acting like machos! But I believe that men generally do not like competition from women. Successful women may find it hard to find a man because he will look like the junior partner. Only men how are confident in their masculinity and sexuality can accept this.
Post a Comment